Making friends (in Christ)

Making friends in life is no walk in the park and it’s certainly not any easier when it comes to making friends in church. If you are that person who is struggling, you’re most likely thinking A) these people aren’t my cup of tea or B) these people don’t see me.

Let’s digest point A first.

Why is it that you’re in church (I’ll let you answer) ….? Ok and so the friends you currently have, do you believe that these people are going to help you with this? If your answer is no then we need to give the people in church a chance. Why? Because we all have a common ground in Christ and that is the direction we are headed. Who else to help get you there than someone who is also on the same journey!

The friends you have, do you believe they’ll make it to heaven? Would God approve of your friendships? As we seek heaven as our home ultimately does it matter that the people in church aren’t the kind of friends we’d usually choose? Or as we seek heaven as our home wouldn’t we prefer friends that will pray for us, help us when we’re battling and encourage us to fight the good fight. When the bible talks about being unequally yoked, it symbolises Jesus being able to carry you when you can’t carry yourself. Is this not what we want in a friend?

Not everyone in your church is going to be your friend, but it’s imperative for your journey to have a brother or sister help you on your journey with wisdom and so much more.

The more you find yourself getting involved in church you find that your lifestyle changes and you realise life is more about what you need not what you want. As you evolve as a disciple you’ll realise the people that were once not your sort of crowd are now key pillars in your walk of faith. Not because they’re the funniest person or best dressed, but because no matter what you are going through, they are able to point you towards Christ.

Now for those that struggle with point B.

If you feel you’re struggling to make friends in church because you’re going un-noticed, then maybe you’re not noticeable. By that I mean are you the first to run off after service, do you sit in the corner on your phone with a constant ‘do not disturb sign’ on your face? You’re going to need make yourself more available. Hang around after service, speak to people and get involved in fellowships. Give people a chance. That’s all it takes.

Ecclesiastes 4:10

 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Proverbs 18:24

 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 27:9

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

2 Corinthians 6

 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial ? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

 17 Therefore, “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

 18 And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

1 Corinthians 15:33

 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Proverbs 13:20

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 12:26

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

James 4:4

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

Proverbs 27:17 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Ecclesiastes 4:9

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:

5 Proverbs 22:

24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered,

25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Why should I give my money to the church ?

This is probably the most common question among Christians. “Why should I give away my hard earn money? The church is corrupt! I give to charity that’s enough. We believe our God resides in heaven, right? Do they have ATMs up there? I thought not. And so God doesn’t need our money.” Even if he did, no amount you give could repay him. Not only that, you could give 100 million in the basket, and still not pay yourself to heaven.

So if he doesn’t need our money, then why do the church want our money?

Firstly, if you don’t want to give then the simple answer is don’t. That’s not what God wants. To give is an offering of our faith and trust in God. After our family, what is the thing we love/need the most in this world? It’s money, it’s our time and so what else could he have tested us with? A test of faith in our time of need. A test of trust when we have nothing else. A belief that our contributions will not fall shy in the Kingdom of God.

Secondly, it’s not a church requirement, its biblical and as followers of Christ we follow his word. We need to begin to change our mindset from, it’s my money, to, it belongs to God. Only then will be begin to feel comfortable to part ways with it. God doesn’t ask us to just give, he asks us to be cheerful givers. How can you happily give away your money when you’re barely surviving. If anyone could turn that situation around, wouldn’t it be God? The bible shows us that those who gave with faith and trust never went without. God wants to meet with your needs, are you prepared to meet with him? Again, it’s not the financial transaction, it’s you putting your faith in God’s hands.

MALACHI 3:10-12

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts.  Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.

Does this mean I should only give in my time of needs? Not at all, as disciples we should have a giving and serving heart. It should be a characteristic. To give when we see someone has a need, when God has convicted us and make it a general habit. We shouldn’t give for a return, but one of the beautiful things we find with giving is seeing how God out gives us. He takes us from nothing to something. He multiplies our deposit.

 So, Why Give to the Church?

Alright, let’s get straight to the point: why should you give to the church? I mean, isn’t it enough to give to people directly or donate to worthy causes? Good questions, all of them. But here’s the thing—when we talk about giving to the church, we’re talking about supporting God’s house.

The church is his house. Yes, you can give to individuals, charity etc but primarily we are to give to his storehouse. I understand there are concerns about giving to certain churches. Pray about this, ask for help and guidance. However, so long as you’re giving with the right heart, don’t worry about the rest as God sees your heart.

Below are scriptures on giving amount, giving in difficulty, why, blessings and the poor.

GIVING THE AMOUNT YOU’RE ABLE TO GIVE

2 CORINTHIANS 9:7

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

MARK 12:41-44

And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

DEUTERONOMY 15:10

You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake.

GENESIS 14:19-20

And he blessed him and said, “Blessed be Abram by God Most High, Possessor of heaven and earth; and blessed be God Most High, who has delivered your enemies into your hand!” And Abram gave him a tenth of everything.

DEUTERONOMY 14:22-23

You shall tithe all the yield of your seed that comes from the field year by year. And before the Lord your God, in the place that he will choose, to make his name dwell there, you shall eat the tithe of your grain, of your wine, and of your oil, and the firstborn of your herd and flock, that you may learn to fear the Lord your God always

SCRIPTURES ON GIVING DURING FINANCIAL INSECURITY

MATTHEW 6:26

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

2 CORINTHIANS 8:2-3

For in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord,

PHILIPPIANS 4:19

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

1 TIMOTHY 6:17-19

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.

BIBLE VERSES ON WHY GOD ASKS US TO GIVE

PROVERBS 3:9

Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.

2 CORINTHIANS 8:9

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake, he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.

1 TIMOTHY 6: 9-10

But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

LEVITICUS 27:30

A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord; it is holy to the Lord.

PSALM 37:21

The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives;

HEBREWS 13:16

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

PROVERBS 21:26

Some people are always greedy for more, but the godly love to give!

MATTHEW 6:21

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

JOHN 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

OFFERING SCRIPTURES ON BEING BLESSED THROUGH GIVING

2 CORINTHIANS 9:6

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.

LUKE 6:38

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

2 CORINTHIANS 9:10-11

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.  You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.

2 CORINTHIANS 9:6-7

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

PROVERBS 3:9-10

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.

PROVERBS 19:17

The one who is gracious to the poor lends to the LORD, and the LORD will repay him for his good deed.

PROVERBS 11:24-25

One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

MATTHEW 6:4

So that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you

MALACHI 3:10-12

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts.  Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.

GIVING MONEY TO THE POOR

ACTS 2:44-45

And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.

ACTS 20:35

In every way, I showed you that by working hard like this we should help the weak and remember the words that the Lord Jesus himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

PROVERBS 28:27

Whoever gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse.

MATTHEW 19:21

Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

Life with and without Christ

Some will mock and ridicule us because of our faith. They find the idea of us having a saviour absurd and hilarious. The thought of us having to believe in a man and dedicate our lives to him. What sort of entrapment is that? Where is the freedom? Those are the same individuals that need to burn their lungs with smoking to relive stress or drown their liver with alcohol in order to feel alive? They’re tied to a lifestyle that circulates depression. Bound to a life of sleeping with this one, fighting that one, gambling here, partying there. If this is what you need in order to live life, where is the freedom in that?

They laugh at us because they think we are forced to live a certain lifestyle. They don’t understand to submit to our King is a choice, nobody can force faith. He is our saviour because he has saved us from all that mess they call “fun.” What we call sin is what they call happiness. Needing this to feel alive. Little do they know with Jesus we’ve been set free. We don’t need to feel alive because we are alive! We are born again in Christ, a new creation who finds peace & joy without the need of substances.  A new creation that finds purpose without the need of millions of pounds. A new creation that finds true relationship in God without the need of momentary friendships. A new creation that submits to what’s true and not fake idols.

Our God sits upon his throne with grace, love and forgiveness.

Their master restlessly attempts to destroy souls. He craves pain, heartache, stress, misery and everything un Godly.  

The bible warned us we will be ridiculed. It warned us of a life without him. But because we have free will it is a choice to choose who to surrender to. This depleting world or his everlasting Kingdom.

Jude 1:18

 They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.

Matthew 5:11-12

 God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers.

12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Proverbs 20:1

Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

Luke 23:36

The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine

Psalm 1:1-6

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

2 Peter 3:3

Knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires.